Inglês Nu E Cru Rádio: 07 - Atlanta Airport: Uma história de comédia e terror

(Texto para acompanhar)

Alexia - Hi!!!!

Foster - Hey Alexia! Can you introduce yourself, please?

Alexia - My name is Alexia, I’m Brazilian from Rio de Janeiro…

Foster - Rio de Janeiro...

Alexia - Rio de Janeiro...

Foster - That something that a lot of my students have problems with. Bem, Rio de Janeiro!

Alexia - Rio de Janeiro!

Foster - Se você falar “Rio de Janeiro” nenhum americano vai te entender.

Alexia - Yeah, why are you speaking Portuguese?

Foster - Okay, I was just explaining really quick.

             So, Alexia is Brazilian, Carioca from Rio, aaaand… Anything else about you?

Alexia - Uuuummm…

Foster - Full disclosure, she is my girlfriend!

Alexia - Yes, I am!

Foster - So, Alexia! I wanna ask you about your experience entering the United States, this time.      How was it? What happened?

Alexia - It was horrible!

Foster - It was horrible. Great! Good!

Alexia - It was two weeks ago, already, right?

Foster - Probably more than two weeks ago. Maybe three weeks… Two and a half weeks?

Alexia - Yeah.

Foster - Okay! Just to give a little context: Alexia is definitely the worrier in the relationship, she always thinks that something bad is gonna happen when she enters the US…

Alexia - Of course!!! I’m Brazilian and I’m coming to the US!

Foster - Fair enough, fair enough… So, tell me what happened: you had your flight, everything was OK, you got to Atlanta, the Atlanta International Airport, and then, what?

Alexia - I got to Atlanta at 6am in the morning, of course, am is in the morning…

Foster - Really early.

Alexia - Yeah, it was the second flight of the day, and the last time I was here… I am Portuguese as well so…

Foster - Okay, so when you say that you’re Portuguese - you have Portuguese citizenship, right?

Alexia - Yes!

Foster - Okay, cool. So you are Brazilian and Portuguese.

Alexia - Yes, so… I come in to the United States I’m always Portuguese. Because it’s easier and the Visa was really cheaper… And, that’s it.

Foster - Ahhh… The Visa was much cheaper.

Alexia - Was much cheaper.

Foster - Yeah, you can say something is really cheap but when you’re comparing a few things is much cheaper. The Portuguese visa is much cheaper than the Brazilian visa.

Alexia - Okay

Foster - Yeah

Alexia - And then the last time, no! The first time I came here to visit you,  they put me in the same line as the brazilians, cause it was my first time with this kind of visa, that it’s called ESTA - E S T A…

Foster - Yeah…

Alexia - And, ok! It was fine, the lady really liked me, it was only twenty minutes.

Foster - Uhum!

Alexia - To get through it… And then in the second time they put me in the other line, with all the americans and canadians citizens, and it only took ten minutes.

Foster - Yeah, that’s the good line.

Alexia - Yes!

Foster - Somehow, for some reason, they put you in the line with americans,  just stay in that line…

Alexia - And this time they put me again with all the Brazilians and all the ESTA visa they went to the same line as me so, everyone, more than two hundred people were in the same place. And I had another flight at 8:30, I think, to catch… So it was already 6:40 in the morning because when I left Brazil it was already forty minutes late.

Foster - Right, so you have more or less two hours…?

Alexia - More or less two hours. It should be Ok.

Foster - Yeah! Plenty of time!

Alexia - I was already worried because Atlanta Airport is a city, it’s enormous!

Foster - Yeah, the International Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta Airport it’s actually the busiest airport in the world. Did you know that?

Alexia - It’s from Delta, right?

Foster - There is a Delta hub there, but it’s not from Delta. But just because it’s close to Latin America, it’s close to East Coast, it’s close to Europe, which actually has the most number of flights everyday. Fun fact!

Alexia - Okay! So, I had two hours!

Foster - You had two hours, you were right at the security, what happened?

Alexia - I stayed in the line for more or less one hour and twenty minutes.

Foster - Stayed in the line.

Alexia - I stayed in the line for more or less one hour and twenty minutes and then this very nice lady started to interview me. And she was really interested about everything! Why I was staying the United States for three months…

Foster - When you say “very nice lady” I hint a little bit of sarcasm.

Alexia - Of course!

Foster - Okay… So…

Alexia - But you know already the story…

Foster - So this was not a very nice lady.

Alexia - no!

Foster - What would you call not a very nice lady in English?

Alexia - A bad lady!

Foster - Bad lady! I think Alexia would call her a bitch!

Alexia - No! I will never say that!

Foster - If any member of the United States government is listening, we do not condone calling federal officials the B word. So, she asked you…

Alexia - She asked me what I was supposed to do here for three months, with what I work with, with what I work with foi horrible!

Foster - Foi horrible! Foi horrible! So that’s… A lot of brazilians say like: “with what do you work?” E você está falando com o que trabalha, né? But normally, in English we say: “what do you do for work” so in this case in the past you would say: “she was asking me what I did for work”.

Alexia - She was asking me what I did for work.

Foster - Yeah, but you can even say in the present because normally you still...

Alexia - I work with what?

Foster - Yeah!

Alexia - And then I start to explain my whole life… And then she…

Foster - Well I was born in Rio de Janeiro.

Alexia - Yes! And then she asked me: “but you are portuguese, right?” and I said: “yes but I’m also Brazilian, I live in Brazil.”

Foster - Red flag!

Alexia - Red flag, immediately. But I can’t lie for a federal police woman from United States at all… And it’s true!

Foster - You can’t lie to. You always lit to someone.

Alexia - And it’s true. I am Brazilian, and I’m from Brazil and I live in Rio de Janeiro.

Foster - Yeah, it’s the truth!

Alexia - And then she was like: “ohhh really?” and then she picked up the phone and she dialled I don’t know what. And then two very nice ladies…

Foster - Brazilian! Brazilian!

Alexia - Two very nice ladies appeared next to me. One fact: I do have a ticket to come back to Brazil because…

Foster - You have a return ticket.

Alexia - Yes I have a return ticket. You have to have a return ticket when you go to United States. They always ask this. So…

Foster - So can I explain one thing really fast?

Alexia - Uhum!

Foster - When I said: “do you have a return ticket?” and you said: “yes I have” - that’s the direct Portuguese translation: “sim, eu tenho” right? But in this case we say: “yes, I do”. Because I’m saying: you do have a return ticket, right? So the correct response would be: “yes, I do”.  Or you could say:  “yeah, I have one” but if you just say “have” in English people will be waiting for you to explain what you have.

Alexia - Okay!

Foster - Right? Yeah, but always… Normally you do have a return ticket, right?

Alexia - Yes, it’s really good to have a return ticket.

Foster - So you had a return ticket…

Alexia - She knew about it, she saw it in the system, and she called someone in some part of the airport, and in two seconds two other very nice ladies appeared just by my side.

Foster - Okay. Were this actually nice ladies or they were also the kind of the B word?

Alexia - One of them was very, very cool with me.

Foster - One cool lady…

Alexia - So, I was with my carry-on bag, my backpack and my pillow neck! Which is...

Foster - Your neck pillow!

Alexia - Neck pillow, sorry! Which is…

Foster - Sanduba!

Alexia - Pink pig!

Foster - Yeah!

Alexia - Called sanduba, Foster gave him this name.

Foster - Pink pig, it’s a pillow that goes around your neck that you wear in the airport. It’s a pink pig and I named him: Sanduba!

Alexia - Sanduba! And then I started to walk. And they were walking me to… a small room somewhere in the airport, in the same floor… I just had to pass by the place where the bags are… I forgot the name.

Foster - Customs? Or baggage claim?

Alexia - Baggage claim.

Foster - Yeah. The place that you get your bags? Yeah, baggage claim.

Alexia - Yeah and, behind this there was a part… There is a room, that you have to stay there and wait for that. But, when I was walking to this room I asked one of the ladies like…

Foster - Walking to this room.

Alexia - To this room, yeah.

Foster - You always walk to things, is a very common mistake that Brazilians make like: “I’m going for the supermarket” or “for the beach”, vou para a praia. But in English we always say going to the beach. Cool?

Alexia - Yes! When I was walking to this room, I asked this nice lady: “Mam, I’m so sorry, I’m really nervous, what’s happening right now?” and she was like: “no, you’re not in trouble… just relax…” And...

Foster - That’s what they always say right before…

Alexia - And “don’t lie! Don’t say anything that you are not really really sure about it. He will only, ehhh… reconfirme everything that you just said.”.

Foster - He is just checking up, verifying, your information.

Alexia - Yeah. Once I got there, there was a… Balcão.

Foster - Yeah, a…. Balcão… Desk…

Alexia - A high desk.

Foster - Yeah, a counter. Counter.

Alexia - Counter!

Foster - Counter - a lot of times I don’t articulate that T, if you’re interested in learning more about the Ts in English you can sign up for Sound School! Our pronunciation course where we have three days just talking about the T sound! A little bit of marketing and one thing that I would like to add is: Alexia, can you describe your physical appearance...

Alexia - Wait! I’m gonna get there!

Foster - Okay, sorry! Back to the show!

Alexia - Okay, there is a counter, with three police officers and they pressed a button, under this counter, a door, porta de vidro…

Foster - Glass door!

Alexia - Yes! A glass door opened and inside there were four guys. I had water, I had  bathroom. I couldn’t speak with any other guys…

Foster - Yeah, I couldn’t talk to anyone.

Alexia - And I couldn’t speak on my phone, of course.

Foster - Yeah, I couldn’t use my phone.

Alexia - Couldn’t use my phone. So I stayed there for more or less one hour and thirty minutes.

Foster - Doing what? Just hanging out?

Alexia - Scared as hell! Cause these other guys they didn’t look nice...

Foster - So you were in there with other people?

Alexia - Yes!

Foster - Okay, so just to paint the picture here: Alexia is very small…

Alexia - I’m petite!

Foster - Very petite. Very beautiful, in my opinion and I think most people would agree. The point is she is not your typical suspect or international terrorism, or drug trafficking… Very much the opposite. And you were in a room with four big guys, four big men, were kind of… Don’t wanna stereotype anybody... Were kind of fit that imagine a little bit better, right?

Alexia - They were. And then…

Foster - No immigration profiling here at Inglês Nu e Cru.

Alexia - And then I put my carry-on next to me, my backpack on the other side,  and my neck pillow...

Foster - Sanduba!

Alexia- Sanduba, he was with me. He, is not it because he has feelings.

Foster - Ok, ok. Ok, cool, Sanduba.

Alexia - Ok, so… Of course, in the middle of the situation, I started to feel really really nervous because I was coming back… Yeah, I was coming back to Brazil immediately.

Foster - They were gonna send you back to Brazil.

Alexia - Yeah, they were only waiting for the next flight to put me into the airplane.

Foster - Yeah, can I just add? I think right before you entered this room with galss door and everything…

Alexia - Waaaait! I’m gonna tell this!

Foster - Okay, okay!

Alexia - And then I started to feel really, really nervous. And then I picked up my phone…

Foster - Pickep up.

Alexia - Uhum, picked up.

Foster - PickEd up

Alexia - Picked up!

Foster - First time you said “pick up”.

Alexia - Sorry.

Foster - This is another thing: the short E sound, the E sound. Three days, Sound School.

Alexia - Picked up my phone and I thought no one was looking at me or anything like this… And I sent Foster a message: “Amor”. And that’s it! And then, in two, I promise you! In two seconds after I pressed send,  this police officer appeared and he made a movement with his hand saying: “you can’t do that” but he didn’t say it he just made a movement.

Foster - He made it very clear that you need to get off your phone.

Alexia - Yeah, but it wasn’t, it wasn’t like… It wasn’t rude at all. He was ok. And then I said: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir!” That’s it - I’m sorry. And then he was like: “Oh, you speak in English?” And then “Yes, I do… I do speak in English.”.

Foster - You speak English.

Alexia - Do you speak English?

Foster - Yeah, you said “do you speak in English”

Alexia - Ah, sorry!

Foster - So you could say: I’m speaking in English right now, it’s the action, but if someone says “do you speak English?” you say: “yeah, I speak English”.

Alexia - Yes! I do speak English. And he was like: Ok! I’m gonna be with you in just a minute. And I was like… He had three metres high, I don’t know…

Foster - Okay, this is a… Two things: we don’t use the metrics system in the US because we are stubborn…

Alexia - Ridiculous…

Foster - It is ridiculous, really don’t know why we do this. Technically we don’t have high or weight. You never say I have six feet.

Alexia - He was. He is!

Foster - He is six feet tall…

Alexia - I am…

Foster - I am six feet tall what it would be approximately one hundred and eighty three centimetres, more or less…

Alexia - Yeah, he was tall, like this, more or less…

Foster - Yeah. Big dude!

Alexia - Yeah. And then this big dude asked me if I could go with him to his office.

Foster - That sounds very innocent.

Alexia - And I asked him back if I had to leave my things on the… inside that room, that first room that I was or if I should have everything with me and he was like: “oh, it’s ok you can grab everything!”

Foster - Yeah!

Alexia - And then I sat down and the first thing that I said to him was: “Sir, I’m really nervous, so… What’s happening?”  and he was like: “you don’t have to… you don’t should be nervous at all”...

Foster - You don’t should be nervous??? You wanna try that one more time? You don’t have to be nervous, you shouldn’t be nervous, no need to be nervous.

Alexia - No need to be nervous at all.

Foster - Never in English Language will you say “you don’t should be nervous.”

Alexia - Okay!

Foster - Okay?

Alexia - So…

Foster - No need to worry, be cool, be calm…

Alexia - No need to worry at all, I just want to check a few things. Okay! So: “where are you from, what are you doing here, for how long are you staying here”, and started a lot of questions about Foster!

Foster - Nice!
Alexia - Who’s Foster, where is he from, what he was doing in Brazil,

Foster - What was he doing in Brazil…

Alexia - What was he doing in Brazil, how long did he stayed the last time in Brazil…

Foster - Okay, so I’m gonna stop you real quick. Two things - first when you’re asking a question in English, this is a very common mistake that you and almost all of my students make, when you ask a question with a question word - who, what, when, where, why, how… Almost always in English, the verb will come immediately after the question mark. So, what was he doing here; how was the party, how is the weather, etc. And Brazilians real have the tendency to say “what he was doing”and put the noun where the subject, directly after the question word instead of putting the verb. Simple rule, after a word like what, why, when, where, always have the verb immediately after. That makes sense?

Alexia - Yes!

Foster - Okay! So they were asking you normal questions and then he started asking about me. Which is nice, you know? Everyone is interested on what I’m doing.Is that Foster? Fundador do Inglês Nu e Cru? Caraca! What was he doing in Brazil?

Alexia - And then I started to answer everything… He went the first to finish his masters and… A lot of things. And then he was like: where did you meet Foster? Where did we meet, amor?

Foster - Where do we meet? We met in Rio, yeah!

Alexia - Uhum!

Foster - Uhum!

Alexia - And then he was “okay!”and he gave me a stamp.  And I was like: “that’s it?” and “yeah! You’re good to go!”

Foster - Forty five minutes of questioning?

Alexia - “You are good to go.” This was his phrase. “You are good to go.”

Foster - You’re good to go!

Alexia - And then I finally could see the time on my phone. And it was already eight and fifteen, something like that and my next flight would be at eight thirty.

Foster - Yeah

Alexia - So, I had to grab my two bags, I had to run to the other terminal…

Foster - Atlanta Airport is huge…

Alexia - It’s really huge! You have to take a train to change terminals. And then I grabbed my two bags and started to run as my life is gonna be… Is in danger! As my life is in danger!

Foster - Yeah. We say like… Like my life depended on it. So I was running like my life depended on it.

Alexia - And then a guy stopped me in the middle of the running saying: “wait! Wait! Where are you going?” “I have no idea! Please help me!” And then all the things started. And then when finally got to my new gate, it was eight twenty six and there was no one on my gate, and the door was already closed. And then I looked at the other side of the gate…

Foster - You looked at?

Alexia - I looked at. And then I stared at a Delta woman that she could help me and I asked her: “excuse me, mam, I need to be in that flight, in the airplane.” and she was like: “yeah, you’re too late for that!”

Foster - That’s the way her voice sounded?

Alexia - A-ham!

Foster - That’s the way all americans sound. So can I ask you a quick question? Like grammatical question? Can you explain to me the difference between to look at something and to look for something? Or just to look in general.

Alexia - To look for is when you need to find something. Like: I’m look for a book that can explain the English grammar.

Foster - Yeah. I’m looking for a book that explains sexual reproduction.

Alexia - Okay!

Foster - Say that you’re interested and you don’t know much.

Alexia - Thanks for the heads up!

Foster - So how would you translate to look for something in Portuguese?

Alexia - Procurando.

Foster - Procurando. And to look at?

Alexia - Olhando para uma pessoa…

Foster - Yeah! So this confuses a lot of Brazilians because in Portuguese you say: olhando para, right? So, ela estava olhando para mim you say: she was looking at me. A lot of time this happens in English, where you replace the preposition for with at. Phrasal verbs! Good job!

Alexia - We don’t like phrasal verbs that much but his I know in general.

Foster - We don’t like phrasal verbs that’s another episode!

Alexia - I explained to this other very nice lady from my morning, what was happening that… The costumes?

Foster - Customs

Alexia - Customs!

Foster - Customs! O som do SCHWA! Sound School! Last advertisement, I promise!

Alexia - So we say that immigration is customs, right?

Foster - Customs is, yeah… When we refer to customs so we’re referring technically is the part that they check your bag so they can see if you have anything illegal. But the entire security process when you enter to a new country you say: “I’m going into customs” “I’m going through customs”.

Alexia - Yeah, I learned that, that morning! Two and a half weeks ago!

Foster - Yeah, well… If they keep you in locked up in customs for two hours one good thing is you will learn some good English!

Alexia - So I think that during this part I called you and I explain everything that was happening and I told you...

Foster - Explained!

Alexia - Explained everything that was happening and I told you that my bags were already lost! They were in that airplane without me.

Foster - Yeah, so your bags were on a plane to Washington D.C  you were currently in Atlanta, and you were trying to go to Charlotte.

Alexia - Greenville!

Foster - Yeah, well originally Charlotte.

Alexia - Yeah… And then this lady told me that I had to find Delta, like, room, place… I don’t know how to call that part.

Foster - Service center, something like this…

Alexia - And then I found it on the other terminal, of course because nothing is easy! And I started to speak to another lady and she told me that I only could resolve everything through phone! And of course they had…

Foster - So you could say “solve” everything by phone.

Alexia - By phone!

Foster - We can say resolve in English but it is not nearly as common. We say resolve for  like, really big situations and more formal situations…

Alexia - This was a very big situation and a formal situation.

Foster - I’m not trying to diminish  the importance of the situation but when we say the word resolve we are talking about like conflict resolution. When a war is being resolve.

Alexia - It was a war!

Foster - Okay, again, not trying to diminish…

Alexia - Okay, so how should I say it?

Foster - You say: it could only be resolved by phone.

Alexia - No, it could only be…

Foster - Fix the problem!

Alexia - Yeah, fix the problem!  And then I picked up a phone, and it auto...automa...tically?

Foster - Automatically!

Alexia - automatically?

Foster - So two things: all the /AU/ sound it’s pretty much making the Ó sound. Like the same in Portuguese: ó! Ó! Olha só! Right? A lot of Brazilians when they see the AU in written English they want to say AÛ like launch.

Alexia - But I think that my problem is with the middle of the…

Foster - Yeah, that it was the second problem that I gonna do now. So, automatically that’s again sound of T, that we don’t actually pronounce, we do not articulate the T. We don’t say: AU-TO-MA-TI-CA-LLY. We say: automatically! Cool?

Alexia - Automatically! I’ll get there one day! And then I picked up the phone and I explained everything that was happening with me and they should give me a free ticket, right? Because it wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t their fault but they are really afraid of… How can I say a processo?

Foster - To get sued.

Alexia - Sued.

Foster - To filed a law sued.

Alexia - So it’s easier if they give me a free ticket.

Foster - Very Brazilian mentally!

Alexia - Well, it’s true!

Foster - Airlines have a thousand of problems everyday and not everyone is gonna sue them. They don’t care. Airlines do not care about you, if you want to learn more about…

Alexia - But I mean, if this problem was in Brazil, I would have taken two days to fix it. And there it was…

Foster - One phone call!

Alexia - One phone call! And David, this very, very, very nice guy, he helped me out through…

Foster - Actually a nice guy! No sarcasm, right?

Alexia - No! No sarcasm at all. He helped me with everything that I needed, and we found a ticket to go to Greenville, which it should be my last stop, final and last stop.

Foster - Your final destination!

Alexia - Yes! And we had to pay but that’s ok!

Foster - Yeah. He gave us a discount.

Alexia - Yes! And I got to Greenville more or less four hours before I should get there.

Foster - Yeah, you actually skipped one of your stops. Let me ask you Alexia - so pretty much everything went wrong, right? This was your disaster scenario. This was what you were so afraid of… That it was gonna be a problem in customs, they were gonna ask what you’re doing in the US… All of that happened. So, two questions: what recommendations would you have for Brazilians that are travelling to the US, especially now in the Trump Era....

Alexia - I don’t understand… Why, why Trump?

Foster - I don’t know, Trump is very cool with Latin Americans… And secondly: do you have any advice about overcoming this fear of… Because, you know when I travel, I travelled a lot and things happen and I don’t really care, I just go with the flow. But a lot of people don’t have this, this really laid back mentality.  Everything bad possibly happened to you. Pretty much happened! Everything was ok, right?

Alexia - It was ok! It was really unnecessary, that’s a fact. Because I don’t know what went wrong with my first interview, right after the huge line. They don’t explain what’s happening at all so, I think that the first thing if this happens to you is: stay calm, you are not going back home, you have your visa, everything is ok, you just have to answer everything with the small details. Make sure that you are telling the truth…

Foster - Truth!

Alexia - Truth!

Foster - Yeah, you said tru. TR sound - Sound School!

Alexia - The truth, no matter what. So, you are gonna miss your flight, you are gonna be worried about everything, but…

Foster - So you say always tell the truth no matter what?

Alexia - Yeah!

Foster - Perhaps you could say: tell the all truth and nothing but the truth? A verdade nua e crua.

Alexia - But once you’re coming to the United States, one thing that you should have, I already said this here, is your ticket to come back - your return ticket.

Foster - Yeah, well… They still stopped you with your return ticket.

Alexia - Yes, but, it’s another prove that  you are not planning to move to the United States.

Foster - Yeah, so I think that the moral of the story is…

Alexia - Wait! And my second tip, if I can say that…

Foster - Yeah, recommendation…

Alexia - Recommendation: they always, always, always have someone who speaks Portuguese in this kind of airport. So, if you’re not a very good English Speaker, if you’re not feeling confident with yourself in this situation, you can always ask for someone to help you.

Foster - Yeah, so, as an English teacher, I’m gonna always recommend try to do everything in English, but when shit hits the fan and you’re thinking “oh no… are they gonna send me back to Brazil?” I give you a free pass, a green light to ask for a Brazilian translator.

Alexia - Yes, yes! That’s important!

Foster - The moral of the story, I think, is…

Alexia - Stay calm…

Foster - Keep calm and carry-on.

Alexia - Keep calm, tell the truth and carry-on!

Foster - That’s a good life lesson in general. So you would still recommend everyone to still visit the US, specially the South?

Alexia - Yes!!! I love the South…

Foster - We are gonna talk a lot in the next coming up episodes. Anything else?

Alexia - I don’t think so!
Foster - Don’t think so either!
Alexia - Lunch time!

Foster - Lunch time! Sound school is opening up in just a few days, só isso?

Alexia - Só isso!

Foster - Até já!
Alexia - Thanks everyone!